Balancing dual degrees in the most difficult semester of my undergraduate career

Lesson learned: Pursuing a dual degree is not for the faint of heart. Late nights in my studio coupled with early morning fieldwork duties often left me feeling ragged and less than sane. Luckily, much of my hard work paid off. Bri and I met with Nicole, our fieldwork coordinator, today and her wonderful graduate student assistant named Michelle to give our slide presentation on the fieldwork process. Nicole was thrilled by our progress, how professionally we conducted ourselves, and graciously took note of our ability to change the classroom for the better, even if only for a short period of time. It was wonderful to experience a welcomed departure from routine alongside the students, many from financially and socially depressed home environments, which can really break your heart if you aren't careful. While art-making with students, as I have noticed even in my own practice, casual conversation is generated almost immediately, and you're quick to say what's on your mind no matter who is listening. Students would talk to me as if we already knew each other, which was a strange phenomenon at first, until I realize I'm guilty of the same thing. All-nighters also promote talking without a filter.

Bri and I were unable to give our presentation on the meeting day in Coykendall due to scheduling conflicts and an emergency doctor appointment I had scheduled due to an injury I undoubtedly suffered from the installation and uninstallation of my BFA thesis show. Along with the blow to my ego due to my ceramic studio's crit of my work, I also strained a muscle on my side that resulted in sleepless nights and potent meds.

Lesson learned: Never expect anyone to understand my artwork, despite our seemingly friendly and agreeable relationship. Also, never conduct a studio-wide critique in which all peer commentary is overshadowed by one faculty member's unwavering opinion. Yes, your personal aesthetic is valuable in assessing the work of other's, but it should not be the only lens by which to view art. If you want it that way, make your own. Nothing shuts down a student more, and I say this from personal experience, than knocking down all the successful work she has done simply because of small details, such as hardware choices. The fact remains that I am wholeheartedly pleased with my process, results and undying professional conduct throughout my thesis completion. I belief all you can ask of your students is to give you their best. I also know that I gave it my all. Had I allowed myself time off for vacations or weekends or to even go home at the end of the day, I'd have known in my heart and in my head that I could have done more. This was the first semester I actually only went home to sleep in my own bed about once or twice a week. I had moved further away from New Paltz over the summer due to an offer I couldn't refuse, and was luckily able to stay with a friend in NP during the week. In doing that, over time I began to feel displaced, away from the small support system I feel I actually have. This feeling of displacement resulted in my obsessive work habits that would reach over any ailments, sleep deprivation or mental anguish. It also resulted in a thesis I can be proud of. Most of all, the positive feedback I received came from family, friends and faculty member's whose opinion I strongly value. Breakthrough: You also can never underestimate your mother's ability to make you cry when she tells you (and everyone she knows) how proud of you she is.

Cumulus (installation view), 2011